When it is necessary to be divorced you should seek an experienced divorce attorney. Each situation is different and although there are Florida Supreme Court forms it is not a simple process. We help our clients every step of the way. Choices for each couple depend upon the circumstances including cooperation, concerns, and your relationship dynamics. See below for a few tips we have picked up over the years for making the divorce process as smooth as possible:
Keep the children out of the process.
Do not talk about court or adult issues. Do not argue in front of the children. This makes them scared. Above all do not make them take sides by asking who they want to live with. Just reassure them you love them and everything will be work out. Mommy and Daddy both love you. Using your children as messengers is not acceptable in these situations.
Listen to your attorney.
Your attorney should explain all options including counseling, mediation, agreements, collaborative law process, and court ordered mediation and litigation. Your attorney is there to help you through the process, or financial divorce. The attorney will advise you regarding division of assets and debts, including retirement accounts, alimony and child support, attorney’s fees and costs. Your attorney is there to help you through the legal divorce and the children’s issues.
- Get counseling.
Often the stress is overwhelming and emotionality with your partner or within hearing of the children is a big negative that inhibits resolution and hurts everyone. Get counseling to help you deal with the stress of your situation. Do not use your attorney for emotional counseling or emotional divorce aspect of a bad break-up. Use a mental health professional. It is more effective and less expensive to get counseling from a good mental health expert than to do it on your own or discuss these issues with your attorney.
If your marriage is over and it cannot be fixed, a legal divorce action may be the best option. Divorce is hard but it is often the best choice if you cannot get along and no counseling will fix your marriage.
During your divorce, it’s important to focus on each day, working with your attorney, remembering the positives, and not over-reacting to your former partner.